New Soul In A Former Shell
All images taken by Jenna Joan 🌹
I recently had the pleasure of creating with a fellow artist by the name of Jenna Joan, whose work I’ve admired for months now. Upon our meeting, I was given the opportunity to return to my hometown. The apartment we shot in happened to reside in the neighborhood where I harbor the most childhood memories. It was surprisingly beautiful how peaceful it felt to be back given how much I used to resent it as an adolescent.
That’s the gift of maturity after all, you look back on your past with appreciation and honor the lessons learned from hardships. You’re thankful for the little things that gave you happiness during times of difficulty. Appreciation arises the moment you stop viewing the world as a victim.
It was like returning to a former shell as a new person.
When I left South Portland as an angsty nineteen year old I was convinced that I was never going back. However as I walked through my previous neighborhood I couldn’t help but admire it. The quiet beauty I had overlooked. The serenity that echoed back at me in the wind. The way the sun glistened against the snow covered sidewalk and how it stuck to the trees around me.
For the first time in years, I missed it there. I was so lucky to grow up in such a wonderful place biking by the water, and spending countless days outdoors whether I was climbing trees or running around imagining myself as some sort of superhero. Even the days as a stereotypical emo girl (I had lip rings, colored hair, and yes I most definitely shopped at Hot Topic) lurking in the local library filling her head with cringy vampire novels are memories that I cherish. From my athletic tomboy days, to my baggy hoodies and fall out boy crazed days- there’s sweet memories swirling all around me in the place of South Portland.
Most importantly I honor its impact towards my growth. I can confidently say that regardless of the hardships I endured when I was young, I wouldn’t be who I am today without them. Those were quite literally the hardest years of my life. Times where I felt like I couldn’t keep going, like my life was utterly meaningless and I wasn’t going to outlive the trials of being a teenager.
The funny thing is that the endurance of those emotional obstacles were the most spiritually rewarding. The second I got out of high school I became a different person. I was out of school for two days before hopping on a plane to London England with my sister where we lived for the next three months. This was the place that I became an artist. It was a grand introduction to my adulthood. When I returned from the UK it was with a completely different perspective. The rest is history.
The past decade of my life has been one for the books. What I’ve accomplished, the art I’ve created, the connections I’ve nurtured. I have my past self to thank for all of it.
The darkest of nights gifted me with the brightest of light.
To my beloved hometown, thank you for everything you’ve ever given me. The blessings disguised as lessons.
Thank you for showing me my strength, my courage, and teaching me how to have compassion. How to be empathetic and to lead by example, with love and wisdom to pass upon others.
Thank you for showing me what I’m capable of, leading me to the person I am today by overcoming everything I needed to when I was young.
Thank you for the harmonious moments as well as the disruptive ones.
I grew up in a little village by the water. I won’t forget the sight of the ocean, the patches of greenery, and the laughter of families residing alongside me.
Thank you for everything, South Portland. I love you. See you soon.
